We have a video loop that runs constantly at work. In the loop is a song advertising Alan Jackson’s new album *Precious Memories*, a collection of old gospel hymns. The song on the loop is *I’ll Fly Away*. Everytime it comes on, I can’t help but sing harmony with it.
I grew up in the Southern Baptist church in Mid-Missouri. There are not many fond memories from that time, but some of the fond memories are of Sunday Night Hymn Sings. People get to call out their favorite songs and everyone sings along. The songs are usually sung with a lot of gusto and feeling. When we go back to visit my folks, we often attend Sunday a.m. service with them. The singing in the morning service is usually without feeling and they still sing the same songs we sang when I was younger. It’s actually kind of sad and pathetic.
The older hymns taught me to love the songs of God, taught me how to sing harmony and how to love parts of church. Sometimes when I am back at my folks church, I miss the joy of the songs of my past, but I don’t miss the faith of my past. I realize there were people in that church of great spiritual depth, but my young eyes and heart couldn’t see it. I see some of the patriarchs and matriarchs of that church and wonder if their faith is any different than it was when I was a kid.
I am aware that sounds pretty harsh and unfair, but I often just wonder if they have just been going through the motions of religiosity because that is what they have always done and known. I think there is also the fear that I might become that which I hate: a person of religion without passion. That honestly does frighten me. I don’t want to become the person that I have (often mercilessly) mocked, especially when I was younger. And to tell the truth, it would probably be pretty easy.
pray for me…
Jeffy, I honestly cannot see you ever ‘without passion’… Love you! Gayle